legit talks

 So hi.

I'm back. If you care hehe. Wow. One year since I last wrote anything. And finally, today I got the courage to write. I know, it's been a while for me in this writing game but I just felt like I need to do this. I NEEDED this.

A lot has happened since March 2021. Trust me. A lot. Mucho. I took a career break, got hired into a very new industry, and I actually like it. So much. But, I tendered my resignation after 2 months because it turned out, I was not very lucky with the employer. It was so bad that I just fuck it, I'm resigning I don't bloody care. No career development, extremely underpaid for someone who had to handle 5 different projects with no clear and specified job scope, got cheated on my pay, let alone an offer letter haha. It was such bullshit honestly despite project yang best-best. Joined a new company as soon as I resigned, better pay, and yes, an OFFER LETTER also, and was entrusted with a very high responsibility to monitor the whole project. Got offered as a Site Engineer and in two weeks, got 'promoted' to be the Project Engineer. I mean, some years ago, I would have never thought that I would be where I am now. It seemed so far-fetched but guyssss, it is possible. You just have to trust the process. It's okay to resign if the job/company doesn't resonate with your principle. After all, you work and do stuff for yourself not the company alone. It's your professional life. 

Back to my job, since I work in the construction world, it's normal to deal with clients and authority (read: JKR, CIDB, etc) and for this particular project, my client is not someone 'ordinary'. High profile I would say and one of the prominent entities in whole Malaysia. And to make it even better, the CEO (client) actually recommended me to their Facility Manager (to be placed under him) to be one of their new Project Engineer. I MEAN. HOW DID I GET THERE WITH 4 MONTHS of experience in the construction world? They could have offered the same position to the previous engineer but they didn't. I also recommended my friends who are more qualified than me but they just said "oh we can't choose them as we need <5 years experience" but me? 4 months? I mean, I must have done something right that they're willing to forgo my lack of years but hey, I just thought this is some stuff that I need to be proud of. But not to the point that I am being boastful. Syukur. But, too bad that I had to decline it huhu. Maybe in the next 3-4 years yeah hehe.

And after somewhat years also, I think I finally found my niche. After all, it is the construction world. Now, I could never see myself working in a factory plant or manufacturing hahahaha. I love the flexibility of different projects and I get to walk. At times, I could just stay at the office and settle paperwork and at times, I could go for a walk (read: site visit/inspection) so tak ada la terperuk dalam office ja. But, work-life balance is not that good la hahahaha. Sometimes I need to work until 0000 or 0100. Nonetheless, I'm not complaining though.

Alright, enough updates about my professional life. Moving on to my birthday now!

So, I turned 25 last few days. Finally entering real quarter-life crisis lmao. But, I'm happy with where I am now even though of course la got a few hiccups here and there but all's good hehe. Alright, that's all for now. Need to hit the sack. Long day tomorrow.

Also, happy ramadan!

 Yeah it's been a while and 1 year since we're in this whole pandemic crap. I mean yes of course I miss blogging and all but if you didn't have the motivation then what's the point right. (NOTICE that I use DID not instead of DO not)

So anyway I am not gonna do the whole new year or resolutions crap. To be honest, I no longer know what to achieve cus everything seems so far fetched now. Work? Study? Life? Everything just sounds bizarre. When this pandemic happened, it just sucked everything outta my life.

I no longer have the passion to keep hunting for a job within my field. With competing with fresh grads and experienced, I honestly stood for zero chance. Sure, I have had a handful of interviews with some giant companies (MNC I mean) and also not so giant ones. By far, the interviews with MNC were the best. Legit. I then worked an odd job just to survive before securing my adult job again but I had to endure 9 miserable months working with people that I questioned God why such people gotta exist. I realise how privileged I am to be able to utter that out but it's just the truth. It was an unpleasant experience and damn, that place sure made me not to eat one of my favourite food again which was pretty sad tbh. So if you would like to stop eating your favourite fast food then by any means, please go work at your fav chain.

Moving on. I am so grateful that I wasn't and am not in college as to date. I assure you,,, I could not handle ODL like for real. I actually joined some free courses from KCL and Uni of Leeds (BECAUSE I MISS STUDENT LIFE LMAO) and even with FREE courses, I struggled to finish. What more with the paying ones. And for that, I am thankful that I am not in college. And to all students out there, I don't know how you guys do it but keep moving! Don't give up and stay in school and don't do drugs.

2020 taught me the reality of being an adult. Hardcore. Haih.

Well I guess, this is it for now. Write soon.

 The amount of post that I published for this year is so madly embarrassing not that I work 9 - 5 lol yet they managed to stay at 3. what the actual hell hahaha. Anyway, I am still working an odd job, still waiting for updates from my previous interviews, still having the patience, and still having the faith. And to add, still trying to figure my crap and life. Life has been very mundane. This pandemic is also not helping. I was supposed to have fun in Bali last month but oh well oh well. But this life if not a roller coaster ride, then what?? Tibeehh.

Just so you know, I remember my promise of trying to finish off my Summer 2018 but to date, there is nada! Kinda disappointed in myself but I mean I actually already have them drafted but they're also kinda personal but I tak rajin nak jot down everything in my journal but damn I'm making excuses now am I hahahha

Anyhow, I challenge myself to publish (at least one draft post) by this week. Or I cannot buy any Boost or Starbucks.

Alles klar. That should do it