The journey towards SPM was extremely exhausting and chaotic filled with sleepless nights. Yet, we were so relaxed.  Only then when I realised my week of hell was approaching, I started studying. Harder. Well I could say that I studied hard for these particular subjects. Why? Simple. It was because this week of hell was starting with Additional Mathematics and Physics. I was so scared of Add Maths because it's a subject which most students in Malaysia fear off. But then I realised, come on lah! Add maths? It's so easy cheesy measy one meh. Really, it only took a lot of practises.

But then came HOTS/KBAT. Past year questions didn't help AT ALL so yeah don't bother buying them next year okay and please study hard, kids!!!!! ADD MATHS you broke my heart to pieces. 

Jangan kata A, B+ pon belum tentu tapi jangan D, E and F sudah.

Then Physics, since I had 10 days off to prepare for it, I actually did re-read all of my notes and only then start answering past year questions. I was trembled and scared that I couldn't ace these subjects. Paper 1 and 2 were okay. Paper 1 was easy but banyak careless. KBAT sikit in paper 2. Paper 3 hmmm don't think so will get 35/40 macam selalu. Dengan blanknya dengan KBATnya. Remember KIDS!!! Study. Damn I was scared. REALLY REALLY REALLY scared. This is simply because I wanna revolve my career with Physics and Mathematics. Hehehe yeah I am that keen. Talking about Physics and Maths, I bet most of you know what field is synonym with them. Yeah right. Engineering. 

Tapi takut tak dapat an A- pon for Physics. Kalau tak dapat macam mana nak jadi engineer? Rosak my dream and future. It's not about ukur baju di badan sendiri anymore. I cannot move on lagi ni from Physics.

Sorry dad, family and everyone. I don't guarantee straight A's. I promise 6 and above. Sedihnya.

Back to ambition.

Honestly, I can't imagine myself become another 'thing' and get involve with fields that I don't fancy like architecture, law, accounting (hahah sorry amanina!) and especially Medicines. Tapi, tipulah kalau tak pernah main doktor-doktor masa kecik and hello best okay potong kertas for report, guna mechanical pencil as syringe or even better guna the actual syringe minus the needle. I used to tell my family that I wanted to have my own clinic beside our house hahahahaha trolololololol. That's why my uncles and aunts are still hoping that I will choose Meds  instead of engineering as most of my cousins are already familiar with it, law, architecture and none with Meds. It's like "You're the only one left so further la medic." As I grew up, I realised that not all jobs that we used to 'mock' was gonna be our choice then to be working in that field pulak kan. Bukan semua benda kita kena ikut apa orang suruh.

Basically, my ambition has never been out from this airplane thingy.

Panjang pulak membebel just because of these two subjects. Okay let's continue to second week of hell a.k.a last week of SPM! As for the second week,  subjects that I had to sit were Chemistry and Biology. Once again, I got scared. Tapi takut Chemistry ja lah. Paper 1 gawd it was confusing. Paper 2 was ahahahahah essay was hard. Paper 3 was shit. Biology, paper 1 was okay. Paper 2 ya Allah it was very easy tapi I couldn't answer. Did not expect senang tapi takleh jawab. Sebab tak focus sangat pon tajuk-tajuk tu. Maigawd takut ni weeeeeiii kalau tak dapat A.

I strongly dislike Chemistry but let's hope and pray that I don't flunk him. Biology, to be honest, when it was our last class, our teacher whom also our form teacher let us rest and relax. During the period, she called us one by one and gave us a pen. One by one passed then it was my turn. "Ha Soraya, Bio A+ ye" "Amin. InsyaAllah teacher! Doakan saya." So calm when I said it tapi dalam hati my God she's hoping for an A+ from you Yaya. From what I noticed, she just wished best of luck/buat elok-elok tau to MOST of my classmates but A+ for me?! Well yeah bukan nak brag. It means she believes in me!!!!

"Sorry lah. Teacher tak ada apa nak bagi kat awak semua. Pen pon pen murah je. 80 sen je sebatang but I'm hoping for A lah from you girls."

Alah teacher why so emotional hahaha of course lah last class kan dahla she's our form teacher. Then we had photography and selfie session cus she insisted. So cute la teacher. Lotsa feels came that day then I realised, I just finished another chapter in my life.

 Another phase in living.

 I just finished high school.