I just want to be sober from feelings ft Scientia potentia est

March 21, 2017

Have you ever felt so lonely that you think everyone hates you just as much as you do hate them?


I have been feeling so alone lately. I do not know if this is just because of my period or anything but things are just slipping out of control. Everytime I try to be grateful and count my blessings, things are just gone.

What sucks is I keep feeling things. Is this a phase or?

It is like I am in a well waiting for someone to throw me a rope. I need rescue.

Apart from all that, I think something is coming. Again. 


The other day, me and my colleagues were talking about education and status (read: rich and poor). I felt sick instantly. I just think that, even if you do not succeed academically, you DO NOT get to belittle achievements of others. They work so hard to be where they are now. You just don't downgrade people just to make yourself feel better. That is so low.

How is this country gonna be fully developed if we still have people with mentality like this. Little do you know, Malaysia is still full of uneducated citizens. I have observed and listened to so many things while working here. And let me tell you something, educated and uneducated ones, there is still a huge gap of difference.

Case 1 : Come from a rich family, education is everything and at the end, more successful.

Case 2 : Come from a rich family, take school for granted, never do well, depends on family money and at the end, downgrading people who are academically successful than they are.

Case 3 : Come from a poor family, love school, ace school but cannot afford to go for higher education so they have to work first before pursuing their studies.

Case 4 : Come from a poor family, not the brightest student but still managed to get a place in college but always lie to their parents about money, never do well in college but have hopes to get rich, ace their studies and be jealous of people in case 1.

I've always love people in case 1 to be honest.

Case 2 people always have me look down on themselves. I mean, they are just salty and bitter. Can't you just be happy for others? With your parents having good money but you having 'bad' brain is just so wasteful!

Next, case 3, I feel bad and sad for them. They taught me to be thankful and count my blessings. I wish the best for them. 

Case 4 ni people yang jenis tak sedar diri. Nasty af. Always take things for granted. You know you can't afford so much yet suka menyusahkan parents like your parents don't work to be your God damned slave and banker. They work hard so that they can provide you good education that their parents couldn't afford back then. CAN'T YOU just be grateful?

But I know, deep down you guys feel education is so important right to get out from poverty and achieve financial freedom.

Knowledge is virtue. I can't stress enough about having good education. Some people just failed me this few weeks.

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